Redheaded Jill

I have heard people talk about rejection therapy and how healthy it is for them. I also have noticed that lately my answer for things is, “No. That makes me uncomfortable.” Like… Life isn’t promised to be comfy and fair. (Duh.) BUT… it goes beyond things that are legit ok to turn down and it’s like. No. Any type of discomfort I reject. So…

Then my brother and I were talking about intrusive thoughts and I was like, “How many of my intrusive thoughts are actually negative things and how many are things that I could do without it causing harm but I don’t do ANYTHING because I am embarrassed and afraid of being seen.”

So I started some mini rejection therapy.

Making someone disappointed in me, but there aren’t any consequences besides MY discomfort.

So yesterday I did TWO things.

1. I asked the girl (on crutches) at the self checkout for help. I have been know to just pay for something (small) twice because I didn’t want to draw attention to having messed up. Especially when there’s a line. (In THIS economy? Crazy, right?) While I DID feel bad bothering the young lady because she had to walk an inconvenient amount on crutches, she didn’t seem to mind. And then she was able to fix the problem at ALL the self checkouts because I wasn’t the only one stuck.
2. I used a drive thru incorrectly. There is a food place in our town that has THE STUPIDEST drive thru. Very inconvenient. There was NOBODY in line, and so I cut through the parking lot incorrectly to get in line. And apparently they have cameras, because the cashier called me out. BUT… it’s ok! Nobody combusted. The police didn’t arrive. He thought it was stupid. But it’s ok! I have THOUGHT about doing it 100x. Will I do it again? Probably not. And obviously not if there’s an actual line or it’s the middle of a dinner rush. But I did something that I wanted to try without worrying about what million strangers would think or do about it. And I’m alive to tell the tale. So maybe, later, when it’s something that’s actually important, I won’t second guess myself before I do the thing.