Redheaded Jill

Today My therapist hit me with some hard truths.

1. Even Jesus has the apostles, why do you think you have to do things alone?
2. You are allowed to tell people at church “NO” and that you are at max capacity for certain things.
3. Plausible deniability is ok for a certain amount of time, but when I am ready to put my feet on the ground to address unanswered questions between friends it might mean the end of something…

I have been feeling guilty because I am struggling with a situation at church. I find myself frustrated by someone who needs help, but who also seems to be throwing the help we offer back in our face. In these situations being Christ like is difficult for me.

I find myself feeling guilty because there are some people I would bend over backward for. One of my closest friends needed help, and a gentleman at church told me, “Thank you for helping _____” and I said, “It’s not hard.” Because it’s not. I love her, so of course I want to help her. AND because she helps me.

Why is it SO easy to help those we love and so hard to help those we don’t love… at least as much?

I keep thinking about a woman who said, “I don’t earn jewels for my heavenly crown by doing the right thing with a bad attitude.” She has done so much good in her life, but apparently her attitude has suffered. I feel that so strongly.

I need to find the balance between having a good attitude and not over-exerting myself on behalf of others. Probably the same as every other people pleasing woman in the world.