Redheaded Jill

My shrink says I am experiencing a depressive episode. I have been since the holidays. All of my siblings were home and together and it was great. But when my sister and her husband left I got really sad.

Since then I have just been sitting in my feelings. I am tired. I don’t want to do much of anything. I am forcing myself to get out a little bit, because seclusion isn’t the answer, but it’s hard because seclusion the only thing that feels good. (Outside of my family that is.)

Things that have been “off” that tipped me off to this being more than just the usual ebb and flow of emotions as a woman on a 28 day cycle.

1. Tired all the time, day or night, regardless of how much sleep I achieve.
2. Strange dreams or nightmares that leave me unsettled upon waking.
3. Waking up disappointed that I don’t feel better yet.
4. Waking up startled or in tears.
5. A zero tolerance policy for things I am usually pretty patient about.
6. Being antisocial and not caring how it looks to anyone.

We have targeted some areas of my life where I need to set better boundaries and practice saying, “No” without feeling guilty. (Like at church and with certain acquaintances.) We are also going to delve back into EMDR and dismantling some limiting beliefs.

I am thankful for my shrink and for therapy and for my best friends who know what this is like and can be sympathetic and supportive.

We will survive the winter.