Redheaded Jill

I heard a woman explain singleness yesterday and it stopped me in my tracks. One, because it was powerful and true. Two, because I have never been able to explain it before. And three, because it made me kind of sad.

In a nutshell she said,

People who are in a relationship or married have one person who is always in their corner. They have “their person” who they can rely on. They have someone who receives most of their energy and focus, but who also gives them energy and focus. They pour from their cup, but they also have someone filling their cup. It is mutual.

A person who is single has a lot to give. And they give it. And they give it. And they give it. But the person who is most important to them, the person THEY pour into the most (if they are married/attached) does not fully reciprocate. So while the single person is filled up a small amount, they are constantly “giving” more than they are “receiving”. And it can be very lonely.

Now, in my situation I have a wonderful family who helps me and a wonderful best friend who prioritizes me, and I have several good friends who make me feel seen and loved. I am EXTREMELY thankful. But it can still be lonely because I don’t have that life partner who I can always rely on who I don’t feel guilty expecting to be their first priority.

So love on your single friends and appreciate them. (And please don’t say condescending things or tell them to use dating apps.)