Redheaded Jill

Do you ever have moments of fear and anxiety that seemingly come out of nowhere? I mean life is going well, you don’t have many complaints, you feel secure and safe and happy and then bam… you hit a wall. A crumbly brick wall that slowly starts to fall towards you, and you’re stuck in place and can’t flee and are covered in the dusty bricks of fear, self doubt and despair?

Welcome to September, 2025.

This last week has been particularly difficult. I find myself feeling nervous and jumpy. I was talking to my shrink last week and I got super weepy, which isn’t a common thing for me. If anything I usually struggle to cry and release those pent up emotions. Last week was just one sob fest after another.

My shrink told me I was likely depressed and to keep tabs on it. I don’t know what the trigger is. If it’s the changing of the seasons, the days getting shorter, the memories of my Grandparents who have passed away, getting another year older and none the wiser, or the fear of change in different relationships in my life. I don’t know the precise trigger, but there’s this dark shadow hovering just out of my reach and I can’t seem to get rid of it.

So… the autumnal haunting has begun early?