Redheaded Jill

I HATE small talk. I hate it because it feels meaningless to me. I hate it because I crave a deeper connection and I never feel like I have anything charming to say in a 2 second interaction.

So when I have successful small talk interactions I am on cloud 9.

Last week, after a week of feeling really crummy, I went to my favorite bakery for a sweet treat before my shrink appointment. I was in line waiting to pay for my donuts when I saw a woman standing by the cake window.

The line was long, so I asked her, “have you ever had a cake from here? They look beautiful!” She animatedly told me yes, she is part of a book club and they always get cakes from Tous Les Jours for someone’s birthday. She was picking up a cake today to take to a friend. I asked her a few more questions and told her she was such a good friend to celebrate others this way.

In a world where it is scary to talk to the people next to you and there is constant fear of judgment it feels phenomenal to have successful social interactions.

I say all this to say, tell the stranger the nice things you’re thinking. Ask questions. Don’t be pushy, but test the waters to see if someone wants to engage. Compliment the hair or the sweater or the color coordination. Ask their opinion or tell them to have a nice day. These little positive interactions are so empowering. And the best part is, you can do it without any context or background. It doesn’t matter what they think, who they vote for, what they eat, where they live… We can have nice, kind, gentle interactions with people of all backgrounds and walks to life. We just gotta do it.