Redheaded Jill

I think there is a reason that setting your friends up on dates is hard. 1. “It’s a set up!” This sounds like something criminal. You are being set up! For what? Failure? Fraud? Murder? Someone is setting you up and it doesn’t sound good!

If your self esteem is low (or non-existent) then you are likely suspicious. Questions of, ‘what is wrong with this person’ and ‘what is wrong with me’? continuously cycle through your mind.

On one hand, you love yourself and want your dreams to come true. On the other hand you are complete garbage and should be thankful for any scraps tossed your way.

If you are “picky” then you feel bad for being picky. If the person they want to set you up with doesn’t appeal to you then it makes you feel like a vain villain. “Oh, but he’s so nice!” Yeah, lots of people are nice! You don’t HAVE to date someone just because they’re NICE to you. If that were the case I’d have gone out with lots of people because I am generally NICE to everyone.

I have had well meaning people in the past try to set me up. The most uncomfortable one ended like this. We went to Bible class, my friend tried to get us to sit together. (We had just gone to dinner and he paid for my food. It didn’t feel good.) So I out maneuvered my friend and sat on her other side.

After Bible class I left pretty quick and texted my friend, “Tell ____ thanks for dinner, it was very nice of him to pay for us. Have a good night.” The responding message I got was, “Here’s his number! Tell him yourself! Btw, it’s his birthday today!” Wow. What a set up. He paid for my meal on his birthday. My response was, “I’m not comfortable with that, but please pass on my birthday wishes. Thanks again for dinner.” And that was the end of that.

So awkward!

I might live in delusional land, but I like to think that someday I will meet a man who will approach me because he wants to and not because it’s a last resort or because his friend forces him. And while this was one of the more awkward encounters of my “dating” life, it wasn’t quite as bad as, “You should meet ______, he also has red hair.” Like… thank you for that. You’re right. We must have similar interests and beliefs and values because of the color of our hair. *insert eyeroll*

People mean well, but more often than not these set ups feel like a trap.