Redheaded Jill

I have deemed my 33rd year of life to be one of purpose, fulfillment and success. I am working hard, I am enjoying my life, and I am making plans. This is true on the good days and the bad, the easy and the hard.

Something that I have been struggling with over the past few days is, “Why?” WHY am I not already living the life of my dreams? WHY am I not married yet? WHY don’t I have children of my own? WHY do people have what I want who don’t appreciate it? WHY do people who have done wrong live such a happy existence? WHY not me? WHY?

I. Am FRUSTRATED! But I am not despairing.

Sometimes it’s ok to question the why, to question beliefs or authority or yourself. The last few days I’ve asked God many times, “Why?” I don’t have an answer yet. And I’m not necessarily waiting for one. I don’t think we get all the answers in life. But I hope the, “Not right now” response I’ve been getting turns into a “NOW” response sooner rather than later.