Redheaded Jill

I’ve written about this before, but grief hits us all a little differently. The reasons we grieve are vast and not limited to death or major disappointments. We can grieve a friendship that isn’t as strong as it once was. We can grieve change. We can grieve when things that we are happy about happen. We can grieve for any number of reasons.

If you’re experiencing some unusual symptoms you might be grieving something. Here are some ways that I expressed and experienced grief after the loss of my grandparents.

1. I locked my keys in my car. A lot. I have done this once a year or so for my whole driving life. After Grandma died I locked my keys in my car 5+ times in the span of 2 weeks.
2. I cried all the time. For a solid month I cried at LEAST once a day. Hard.
3. I couldn’t cry. After that month of tears I don’t think I shed even a single tear for several months. Just like I physically couldn’t stop crying the month before, I couldn’t cry no matter what I did for months after.
4. I had the worst brain fog. I missed appointments. I forgot important dates. I’m lucky I remembered to inform my employer that I was taking some personal days, otherwise I might have lost my job!
5. I didn’t leave my house for weeks. I did make a quick grocery pick up run or two. But I think for two weeks after Grandma died I didn’t go anywhere or receive anyone. I had one friend stop by, but she didn’t stay long because I was weepy and didn’t want to cry in front of her, or feel like I had to entertain guests.
6. Kind of like the crying, I had days where I slept for hours and hours, and I had days where I didn’t sleep a wink.
7. I had a cough. The weeks before Grandma died I had pneumonia. I was coughing up a storm. Well, the cough lingered long after Grandma was gone. I have read that grief is stored in the lungs. I believe it. This summer is the first summer in two years that I haven’t developed some sort of cough with the changing of the seasons.

Grief isn’t just mental or emotional or physical. It’s all the things. Whether you choose to lean into it or run away from it, don’t be afraid to ask for support! Chances are someone you love has experienced something similar and wants to help you.