Redheaded Jill

When my grandpa passed away and I was first living with my grandma and I had quit my steady bank job and I was sleeping a lot during the day because I couldn’t sleep at night and I didn’t want to leave the house or see my friends or go anywhere at all I started going to therapy.

One day my mom walked into the house, grabbed my computer, googled “Christian Therapist, ________, Kansas” and boom. The first practice that popped up was where she made an appointment.

That night my Grandma came to my room (wheeled in on her scooter) and with tears in her eyes said she was worried about me and asked me to seek help.

I went to the first appointment and sent my mom in first. I said, “You’re the reason I’m here. You tell them why you brought me.” So my mom went back and talked to the person in charge and after 20 minutes they called me back. She said, “We think you’d be a good fit for _________ so next week we’ll have you come talk to her.” The following week (I think) I walked in and met my therapist, who I lovingly refer to as my “Shrink”.

I was pretty much like, “I don’t know why I’m here… blah blah blah… My Grandpa died. I’m sad. Blah blah blah.” It took several appointments before we started to make progress. Now it’s been several years and she has helped me so much.

She helped me quit all medications I was taking, anxiety meds and birth control. (I still struggle with anxiety, but I don’t feel the meds were helping me.) She helped me get through the death of my Grandma, dealing with family issues, the loss of friends, the disappointments of college and my life not turning out I expected, dropping out of law school, etc… She tells me on a regular basis I’m not crazy. I really appreciate her.

I started therapy at my family’s insistence. Now I wish I could convince them all to go. My friend told me tonight, “People go to therapy partly for the people in their family who won’t go.” I think there’s definite truth in that. It’s like, “You won’t deal with xyz so I’ll go to therapy to deal with it, and learn to cope with YOU who won’t deal with xyz.”

I also think that there are some unrealistic expectations of therapy, and people who don’t go don’t understand. Therapy won’t always “fix” you. Sure, there can be major experiences that you go to therapy to work through. But if you want help with the day to day struggles you’ll need to go more frequently than just when experiencing major life changes.

In my case I think my family expected me to change my personality. Maybe it would make me less introverted. Maybe it would make me more social. More happy. More friendly. More outgoing. Well, that definitely didn’t happen. I also have family members who think my shrink is a fraud because she didn’t tell me I was crazy when I admitted that I’d rather “climb out my bedroom window than make small talk with visiting relatives” when I was at one of the lowest points in my life. Sorry not sorry folks.

Therapy has helped me deal with boundaries. With my expectations of others. With expectations of myself. Today for example she asked me, “What do you think Jesus thinks about that.” When telling her about a problem I was having. Not only did that make me feel better because I believe Jesus views us with compassion, but it made me focus on what’s important, and that is JESUS and not what your friends, or family, or strangers think.

If you are considering therapy I say don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.