Redheaded Jill

Part 1: Church Icks

To be fair, this is something I dislike in ANY setting… but it seems to happen most frequently at church services.

1. Shake hands with your neighbor. I am all for meeting new friends at church, but don’t stop the service and ask me to talk to the people around me. It’s so uncomfortable. It’s so difficult. I will not remember the names of the people I meet. THIS is why I was always late to church when I attended in the city. The elder making announcements always felt the need to have us shake hands with the people around us and it was miserable.
2. Aggressive invitations to lunch or other church events. I appreciate the invitation. I appreciate it the first, second, maybe even third time. But if I say, “No thank you” the first three times I’m also going to say, “No thank you” the 10th, 11th…100th time. Lunch by myself is the reward for attending the service and not sneaking out early to avoid small talk.
3. “You should date ______” I am not opposed to meeting my future husband at church. It would actually be ideal. I want to marry a christian. BUT… if you don’t know me very well and you try to set me up with someone based solely on them being a christian and us being the same age… that isn’t flattering. (I kid you not, a well meaning woman I know said I should date someone because we were both under 40 AND we both have reddish hair. Is that seriously all we have in common?? Wow… I’m sure he was a nice man, but dadgum! When I asked my friend about him she said, “You guys have nothing in common. I wouldn’t recommend it.”) Other reasons someone has tried to set me up: we both like fishing, he was taller than me, his mom was friends with my mom. It’s so flattering how well people know me.
4. Reading aloud. When you have 40 people sitting in the auditorium and you are all reading from a different version of the Bible (KJV, NKJV, ESV, NIV, NASV, ASV…) and you ask everyone to read a single verse and go down the line. I can never keep up. By the time it gets to me it’s verse like… 24 and I can’t find my place because I prefer English Standard Version and Mrs. Becky in front of me uses New King James Version. I usually find my way to the bathroom before it’s my turn to read aloud. Can I say, “Skip me please”? Yes. I can. But I don’t want to. It’s awkward.

Are any of these things unscriptural or wrong to do? No, but it sure makes it hard for an introvert like me to attend the service.

**disclaimer: I use satire and overdramatize situations for comedic effect. As an introvert with middling social anxiety I don’t actually expect the world to always cater to me or my limitations. In sharing my thoughts and struggles the hope is that someone else who experiences this same feeling will be able to know they’re not alone. Church attendance is important. I highly recommend it. But I won’t pretend it’s easy.**