Redheaded Jill

When I turned 20 I made a 10 year plan. It included, but was not limited to, being married, being debt free, and being finished having kids (of which I wanted many). I wanted to be a “young mom” because what was life after 30 except dull and mostly finished?

Well as the saying goes, when we make plans God laughs. There’s nothing about my ten year plan that has come to fruition. I am not married. I have no kids. And I am most certainly NOT debt free. (Yet…)

I do very much hope to marry one day, but if I had married the guy I was interested in when I was 20 I would be a very different person than I am today. I most likely wouldn’t have moved back to Kansas. I would not have been home when my Grandparents were ill. I would have missed out on living next door to my nephews whom I love SO much I can’t even describe it. I may not have rekindled my relationship with my best friend, or met so many of the dear friends I’ve made since coming home. I might still be taking unnecessary medications and I would definitely not be living in my Grandparent’s old house, raising chickens, and learning how to garden. (And I still have my old pinterest boards… the wedding would have been over the top cringeworthy.)

As for debt… well… I would have hopefully been debt free by now, but I might have had to work instead of be a homemaker full time.

I’m thankful that I didn’t have kids before I learned all that I know now. Things about our medical system, things that we call “normal” that I don’t believe should be considered normal. I would have fed my kids processed foods and formula and all the things that I really don’t want to do for my children. I would have enrolled them in public school and never have considered homeschooling. (This is not a judgment of other’s parenting, just a change in my own mindset over the last decade.)

Can we ever truly know what might have been? Of course not… But I can imagine what my life would be if I’d taken the path I thought I wanted at 20. While things haven’t been perfect I am so thankful for my life. Kansas is home. Family is wealth. And I am happy.